


Dream Traveler

by tuuli



Category: Hikaru no Go, The Sandman
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-04
Updated: 2012-03-04
Packaged: 2017-11-01 03:06:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/351246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tuuli/pseuds/tuuli
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hikaru had a dream, of Sai, and of a fan, and he wasn't yet ready to wake up. This time he would find Sai again, if he'd have to search through the whole Dreaming.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Now, to a great adventure

**Author's Note:**

> A Hikago/Sandman crossover. What can I say? It's been fun to write, at least.
> 
> About the title and the chapter titles... In general, I just can't come up with titles. This fic was no exception. But when I was writing the second chapter, a line from Bokura no bouken (first ending for Hikaru no go anime) came to my mind, and in this context kind of... amused me, so I decided to use it as the second chapter's title. And when I thought about it, I figured I could take all the titles from that song.
> 
> So, the fic's title (yume no tabibito, which could be roughly translated as dream traveler) and the chapter titles all are from that song. (This doesn't mean they'd fit the fic perfectly or anything like that. Mainly they just amuse me. And now I don't anymore have to think about the censored titles.)
> 
> Another note for the possible Sandman fans... it's been ages since I read the books, so if I've got some canon errors, I'm sorry. This takes time during Brief Lives, simply because it's one of my favorites.

**A Tiny Prologue: Open the door to your dreams**

" _How_... _how did you feel when you disappeared?"_

" _Were you sad?"_

" _Or were you smiling like you are now?"_

" _I hope you were_... _smiling_... _"_

_He's looking away. Into the distance. Still quiet, without saying a word._

" _Sai_... _"_

" _Sai! Don't go! Say something! Don't disappear_... _"_

" _Sai?"_

_The fan. Offered, with a small, gentle smile. Hikaru reaches toward it, and the moment his hand closes round the fan he knows he's about to wake up._

" _No..." He pushes back, with all his strength, and for a moment the dream breaks, turns black. He doesn't let go, though, holds on to the traces of the dream, refusing to wake, and then he is back floating in the bright blue sky, in the soft wind and sunshine. There is no Sai. But down there... there is a path._

* * *

**Chapter 1: Now, to a great adventure**

The path led to a forest, and Hikaru followed it. Had someone asked, he wouldn't have been able to tell why, but somehow he was certain Sai had walked this very same path, just a moment ago. At times, he thought he saw something white flash among the trees and he hurried on, rushing after it, but if there was someone walking ahead, it was impossible to catch him.

After a while he suddenly realized that the forest had changed. It was hard to say exactly how, but there was something _off_ with the trees, in their shape, in the way wind whispered in their leaves. His heartbeat quickened and he started running again, suddenly afraid and not anymore so certain that he was following the right path. Why would Sai come to a place like this?

He didn't understand the sound of the wind, but there was menace in it, and although it was not dark, the bright sunlight was gone. (But never mind the light... the wind, if he'd just be able to escape from the wind, all would be fine.) He stumbled on, and the path disappeared. Between one step and the next, it simply wasn't there any more, and he stopped, uncertain.

The forest was dense around him. The old trunks were dark and crooked, and the branches reached out to block his way. He glanced around, but the only way open was behind him, the way he had come.

"Sai?" he called quietly. "Where did you go?"

_Sai_... whispered the wind, as if mocking. _Sai_...

Hikaru clenched his teeth. He wasn't about to let some freaky wind and old trees to scare him – Sai _had_ gone to this direction, and even if he had, somehow, lost the correct path, it was no use stopping now. So he pushed on, determined, and the branches gave way.

He stepped out of the forest, and felt immediately relieved. With new confidence, he went on, but soon stopped as he heard loud shouting from ahead.

He was standing on a road. How he had come to it, he couldn't tell, but there he was, on a fine and wide stone-paved road. A bit further down, the road went by a big cemetery. Then he noticed two houses at edge of the cemetery, a broad one and a tall one, and as he watched, the door of the tall house suddenly burst open and a plump man ran out, screaming somewhat incoherently. Another man ran after him. Hikaru froze when he saw an axe in the pursuer's hands.

"Ah-ah-I... di-didn't mean to! I'm s-s-sorry!" the man shrieked, but to no avail. The man with the axe was catching on him, and the mad gleam in his eyes promised nothing good. Then, covering the distance impossibly quickly, the plump man reached Hikaru and dove to take cover behind his back. Before he could react, Hikaru found himself face to face with the axe man, while the other hiding behind his back held on to his shoulders and did his best to keep the boy between himself and the attacker.

"T-t-tell him I'm s-s-sorry!" the plump man whimpered to Hikaru, and his attacker rolled his eyes.

"You're getting more pathetic day after day," he snorted. "T-t-tell him I'm s-s-sorry!" he repeated mockingly. "Now, don't you get any outsiders involved, this is a family matter."

"Umm..." Hikaru eyed the axe quite worriedly. It was sharp and shining. "Umm..."

"Just go on." The man waved the axe dismissively. "This doesn't concern you. Let him go, Abel!"

"Ye-yeah..." the man, sweating a lot, finally let go of the boy. "B-but... ah... I..."

Hikaru swallowed. Decided he couldn't just walk away. "Eh, what... what are you doing with that axe?" he asked. "I mean, surely you're not... that is... can't you talk about it?" he finished a bit lamely.

The axe man gave him a weird look. "Talk? That idiot brother of mine _can_ barely talk, as you've heard. Besides, it does no good. He broke my favorite cup, that fact doesn't change of talking."

"Your cup? You mean you're going to _kill_ your brother because of a _cup_?"

"Oh, he d-doesn't need a reason to k-k-kill me," Abel said, still standing behind Hikaru's back. "He's done it just for f-fu-fun, a few times."

"Huh?" The boy glanced at him, confused. "What do you mean?"

"Never mind what he means." The man waved the axe around. "Go on, wake up, little dreamer. You shouldn't be here, anyway."

Hikaru turned his confused stare at him. "Not be here? Dreamer? What?"

"You're just dreaming, boy, that's all. Now, wake..."

"Oh, yeah, that's it!" Hikaru's face brightened. "I'd somehow forgotten. Yeah, of course, this is a dream. I wonder if I can get Sai back here, if I really concentrate... sometimes I can make things happen in my dreams."

"You can?" The man was resting the axe on his shoulder and looked at Hikaru with a raised eyebrow. "Yes... you seem to be a rather strong dreamer. That might explain how you've come this deep."

"And if I'm dreaming..." Hikaru went on, not really listening, "well, no one kills anyone in my dreams. I should be able to get rid of that axe, if I want to. Or... change it into something else." He frowned and stared intently at the axe, but nothing happened. The man chuckled.

"You see," he explained, "we are not a part of _your_ dream, so you've got no control over us."

"Not a part of my dream?" Hikaru blinked at him, confused. "But... whose dream are you then?"

"Not a dream, really..." the man mused. "More like... a story. Though maybe there isn't much of a difference, nowadays. Anyway, sorry to shock you, boy," he grinned and didn't really look very sorry at all, "but this is how the story goes." He raised the axe again and slid a finger on its blade.

"What kind of a story is that..."

"The First Story," the man whispered. "What, haven't you guessed yet?" When Hikaru shook his head hesitantly he threw his head back in exasperation. "What do they teach the kids these days!"

"Co-come now, don't be mad at the boy, he's just dreaming..." Abel was watching him sympathetically, and for some reason he couldn't quite fathom Hikaru felt he was beginning to like this plump, nervous fellow. "You're l-looking for someone, right?" When Hikaru nodded, he went on, "Well, as you've already come this far, you could just fo-follow the road, and, um, go to ask Lord Morpheus. If the one you're looking for is in the Dreaming, he should know..."

"Why don't you just shut up!" The other man had seemed to have calmed down a little, but suddenly his face was again distorted in anger and his eyes flared. "You blabbermouth! The lord's got other things to do than help all the silly dreamers to find things they've lost!" The axe rose.

"Ca-cain, no...!"

"No!" Hikaru as well yelled, raising his hands, but too late. The axe fell, and behind him the plump man was cut down. Cain hit again, and again, and bent then down to pick up the severed head.

Hikaru backed off, feeling nauseous, and when he realized the head was still babbling, still begging for mercy, he turned on his heels and ran.

.

He kept on running, and as often in a dream, he didn't feel at all out of breath. His steps were light and easy, and it was, almost, a joy to run – if he just had been able to forget what he was running from. He glanced behind and found he couldn't anymore see the houses, nor the two men. Gradually he began to slow down, and when he looked forward again, he saw the castle.

It was big, bigger than he could really figure out, as he had a feeling he saw only a small part of it. It appeared to stand on a high hill, though the mist that whirled around it made it hard to see properly – it was as if the whole building stood in the clouds. There were several towers rising high from the mist and the clouds, and a long, white stairway, floating in the air, which led up to the front gate.

Hikaru watched it a moment in silence. Then, he took a step forward, and laid his foot on the first step.

It was a long climb, but not impossibly so; and not so much tiring (this was a dream, after all) than it was boring. Finally the stairs ended, and he stood in front of the main gate. There were statues around it: some kind of a winged horse on the right, a griffin on the left, and above it, a dragon. He gave a long look at the statues, then reached to knock on the door.

"Wait, dreamer. Why are you here?"

"What?" Hikaru gave a start and glanced behind, but there was no one around. Then he realized the voice had come from above, and as he looked up he saw that the dragon was watching him. "I... ah, I'm..."

"Unusual, visitor, truly," another voice said, and Hikaru jumped again, as a horse head suddenly reached down to look at him more closely. "Are you lost?"

"Don't be stupid," the griffin snorted. "How could someone who's lost find his way here?"

"You never know... stranger things have happened."

"No, I'm not lost," Hikaru put in. "At least I don't think I am..." Coming to think of it, he really didn't have a clue where he was. Oh, but... this was a dream, right? Once again, he had almost forgotten. So in fact he was lying in his own bed – hardly lost, in that case.

"I'm not lost. I came to see... see..." What was the name again? "Well, the lord of this place."

"Did you now?" the griffin sounded amused. "And what business do you have with Lord Dream?"

"I... I'm looking for someone. Someone who was here, but then I lost him."

"So he is lost, after all!" the horse said triumphantly.

"I'm not lost! Sai is. And I need to ask this lord of yours if he can help me find him."

"So who is this Sai?" the griffin asked. It was lying on its pillar looking quite relaxed, front legs crossed. For some reason Hikaru was getting the feeling that all three of them were somehow amused. "A dream? Or a dreamer?"

"No! He's... Sai is..." Hikaru swallowed. "He's dead. But he was here."

"Oh..." the dragon whispered. "A dream, then. I'm sorry, boy. You can't find the dead here, just dreams and shadows."

"But he was...!"

"No. Go back, boy. The lord is busy, and he can't help you with this."

"I'm not going anywhere!" Hikaru shot a stubborn look up at the dragon. "I've come this far. At least tell your lord that I'm here and I want to see him."

The dragon looked away for a moment, and then back at the boy. "I told him. He said no."

"What? Just like that? But I..."

"A no is a no, boy. You didn't gain entrance, and we can't let you in."

"But..." Hikaru started again, but then he realized he was about to start arguing with a statue. With a great sigh he sat down. "Fine!" he finally snapped. "I can be stubborn, too! I'm not going anywhere before I get to meet him."

Nobody answered him. Not that he had expected them to.

He sat there a long while, alone. At times his thoughts were wandering, and he almost slipped somewhere else, but he quickly pulled himself together again, concentrating as hard as in a serious go match.

But nothing happened.

Until, just when he was about to start dreaming of his grandfather's attic and the day when he first met Sai, there came a quiet creak, and the door opened. He gave a start and stood up, looking at the door expectantly. To his surprise he saw that the door had changed since he'd last looked at it – and so had the place where he was sitting. The stairs were gone, and the castle wall wasn't as white and shining as it had been, now it was normal, gray stone wall, and the wooden door was just a fraction of the size it had been – it looked more like a backdoor than the main gate. There were no statues, but on the door there were carvings of the dragon, griffin, and the winged horse.

A girl stepped out of the door, carrying a basket with a lid in her hands. A very strange girl – short, wearing a ragged, sleeveless dress, with a wild mop of brown hair and very long elfish ears. She stopped for a moment, her mouth forming a surprised 'o' when she saw Hikaru.

"Are you still here?" she said when she closed the door behind her. "You truly are stubborn, aren't you."

"Could you please let me in?" Hikaru started eagerly. "I really wish to speak with, umh, the lord."

"Apparently. But I'm sorry." The girl started walking away. "If the gatekeepers say you can't enter, then you can't. It wouldn't be wise to intrude. Besides... you have a bad timing. The lord just left on a trip."

"A trip?" Hikaru left after the girl. "What kind of a trip? Will he be gone for a long time?"

"Who knows... he's again traveling in the waking world with his sister, Lady Delirium. They might be back any moment – or maybe next year."

"Next year? I can't wait that long! If I don't meet him tonight, I don't know if I'll ever be able to come back here again!"

"Probably not," the girl admitted. "It's quite surprising that you are here now."

"Can't you help me, then?" Hikaru asked, desperately. "I really need to see him..."

"Lord Dream? I just said he's not..."

"No, I meant Sai. I met him here, a while ago, but then he left, and I can't find him. Do you know how I could find him?"

The girl shrugged. "Usually, if you are thinking about someone in a dream, you might next see them."

Hikaru snorted. "I haven't been thinking about anything else since I came here. And haven't seen a glimpse of Sai. Besides, I want _him,_ and not something that's just a dream."

They walked in silence for a moment. "There's no such thing as 'just a dream'," the girl finally said. She stopped and looked at Hikaru with a sad smile. "I wish I could help you, but I can't. I hope you'll find him." She nodded, as in goodbye, and walked away. Hikaru considered a moment and ran then after her.

"What about you?" he asked. "Are you dreaming, too? What are you doing here?"

"I? No, I'm not dreaming, I live here. At the castle. And..." she glanced at the basket in her hands and sighed. "I'm searching for something, too. Some nightmare fledglings happened to escape – it was an accident, but my fault, I guess... so I'm hoping to find them and bring them back before the lord returns. They aren't ready yet, so they shouldn't be out here."

"Nightmare... fledglings?" Hikaru blinked. "What?"

"Something like... baby nightmares. They're very young. And like all youngsters, very eager to show what they've got. It would be easy for the lord to find them, but..." she swallowed. "He's been in a bad mood lately."

"Baby nightmares, huh?" Hikaru looked at the girl thoughtfully. "Hey, could I help you?"

The girl glanced at him with a wry smile. "First time I've met a dreamer who wants to find nightmares."

Hikaru grinned. "Well, if I know they're only dreams, it won't be that bad, you know?"

"Only dreams..." the girl muttered. "You don't listen to what people say, do you? But anyway." She stopped and looked at him with a smile. "I'm Nuala. If you wish to help me, I'd be grateful."

"Shindou Hikaru," Hikaru said and nodded his head a little. "And if I'm anyway going to walk around here, searching for Sai, I might as well keep an eye out for your nightmares. Besides... it might be good to have someone around who knows this place."

(In truth, he'd probably never find his way back to the castle on his own. The way behind looked nothing like it had when they'd walked through it.)

"So, where should we look for them?"

Nuala sighed. "I wish I knew."

"How big is this place, anyway?" Hikaru asked, looking at the formless plains that spread out around them.

"The Dreaming? As big as all the possible and impossible places put together."

"That's... big."

"Yeah." She sighed again. "But... very improbable things can happen here, so who knows. We might have luck." She didn't sound too confident, and Hikaru said nothing.


	2. The sky and the flowers, look how they're smiling

They walked on, and slowly the plains changed into a forest. The forest trees grew taller and taller, until they took the shape of skyscrapers. They were walking on the main street of a big city. Neon lights and advertisements flashed everywhere, but the city itself was empty, abandoned.

Hikaru shifted nervously. "This place has the feeling of a nightmare," he whispered to Nuala. He kept on glancing over his shoulder, convinced that any moment something horrible would happen.

"It is a nightmare," she admitted, "but not one we're looking for. But if it makes you uncomfortable, let's take a shortcut out of here. I doubt we'd find anything here, anyway."

She turned on a side alley and opened a rusty door Hikaru almost didn't even notice. They went in and started walking down a dark staircase. After a while Hikaru saw dim light, and suddenly they were inside a normal house, walking down the stairs to the first floor. There were pictures hanging on the wall at the stairway, all of them depicting the same young man.

They came down to the living room where an old woman sat alone watching television. Here, too, were pictures of that man on the walls, and when Hikaru glanced at the television, he realized that the same man was there as well.

"Please excuse us, we're just passing through," Nuala said to the woman, but she didn't even seem to notice them, staring intently at the television, where the man was just walking in a sunny park with a young woman who was wearing a flowery dress.

"That was weird," Hikaru whispered as they stepped out of the house.

"What would you expect from dreams?"

"Well, yeah..." He glanced over his shoulder at the house, only to find it gone. "Was that her dream? Who was that man?"

"Who knows?" Nuala shrugged. "Maybe her son, or an old sweetheart. Possibly someone she's lost and can't forget."

Hikaru thought of it a moment, of all the pictures and the almost obsessed stare on the woman's face, and decided he probably didn't want to know. "Are we going to somewhere particular?" he asked. Right now they had arrived to some formless place – if it now could be called a place – which only consisted of random colors and light. "Where are we, anyway?"

"Nowhere, really. Let's go... somewhere. As I said, I don't really know where to look for those things... but I think it'd be best to find some dreamers. I mean... the nightmares need the minds of the sleeping people to be able to, um, express themselves."

"Express themselves, huh…" Hikaru muttered as he shuffled after Nuala.

Slowly the colors and lights around them were beginning to take form. Green went down, blue up, red and yellow still danced here and there, but somehow, Hikaru thought, the view was beginning to remind him of a child's drawing of a landscape.

The thought had barely crossed his mind when the dream shifted and they _were_ walking in a child's drawing. The ground was green and the sky blazingly blue, but it was sloppily colored and there were streaks of white here and there. There was no horizon, just a white stripe between ground and sky. And the sun (hanging a bit too low, in the white part), as well as the flowers on the ground…

Hikaru grimaced. "Do they have to be grinning like that? It looks freaky."

"It's your dream," Nuala said, shrugging. "If you don't like it, change it."

"Faces, away!" Hikaru yelled, and thought of a normal sun. It worked – although the drawing didn't disappear, the sun and the flowers lost their smiley faces. "What a weirdo place," he muttered as he looked around. Had he too drawn stuff like this when he was a child? Most likely. And his mother probably had those artworks safely stored somewhere…

He walked on, and on, and remembered his childhood, almost remembering some silly drawings he had made, and then he thought of the house where they'd lived when he had been small, a tinier place than their current one, and in the yard there had grown this old gnarled pine tree in which he'd loved to climb, no matter how often his mother told him not to, and then the pine was there, and he climbed up on its familiar branches.

As a small child again (his hair was still completely black and no one would have even listened to him if he had wanted to dye it), he sat on the highest branch he dared to climb to and watched the street that went by their home. There were some people walking on it, but even though they weren't far away they seemed somehow misty and unreal – only the tree, and his home behind it, were truly there.

It was a beautiful day, blue sky and sun peeking from between the tree's branches… and then, suddenly, all the people on the street stopped and turned to look at him, now completely sharp and focused.

"Faces, away!" they yelled, and they had no faces.

Hikaru screamed and fell of the tree. He rushed to the safety of his home, to his mother, who was cooking something in the kitchen. "Mom," he cried, clutching to her apron, "There's some people out there and they have no faces!"

"Have no faces?" his mother asked, gently. Slowly she started to turn to look down at him. "Did they look like…"

" _Gotcha!"_ someone yelled, and the dream disappeared. Himself again, Hikaru blinked like an owl in bright daylight, again standing in the middle of the swirling colors. Nuala was holding something small and dark and hairy that struggled wildly to get free.

"Open the basket!" she yelled.

"What?" He was still not quite back on the cart.

"The basket! Quick!"

"Oh…" Hikaru opened the basket Nuala had been carrying, and she pushed the hairy thing in there.

"Great!" she said with a wide grin when she snapped the basket close. "We got one. You're actually quite useful. Wouldn't care to attract some more nightmares?"

"What, you'd use me as a bait?" Hikaru was still feeling a bit jumpy after the dream. "That was… freaky. What _was_ that thing?"

"The monster under your bed." When Hikaru gave her a blank stare, Nuala went on, "Childhood fears. Can you ever really leave them behind?"

"Oh… yeah," Hikaru said thoughtfully. "My grandpa told me once this story about a noppera-bou, and it was so frightening back then. I was… five or something. Mom was really angry with him and told him not to tell me any more scary stories."

Nuala looked really happy when she held tightly to her basket. "Well, at least we have one. That's one more than I was expecting to find."

"You didn't think you'd find any?"

"No, not really," she admitted. "The Dreaming is such a big place. But I thought I'd have to at least try."

They went on, once again, and finally walked out of the drawing to a normal sand road.

After a short while Hikaru was almost missing the brightly colored drawing. He was getting convinced that of all the possible and impossible places, this road had to be the most boring one. There was nothing around it, just, as far as the eye could see, even plains with sunburned grass. Not a single building, tree or a bush, or even a little mound, just the dead plains.

"Are you sure this isn't a nightmare?" he muttered to Nuala who simply smiled a little in reply. He was sure he would get crazy soon if there didn't come any variation.

He kicked the sand as he walked, once and twice, and to his surprise saw one stone bounce back as it flew off the road. He stopped and reached out with his hand, and sure enough, felt something solid right by the road. A wall, on which the sunburned plains were drawn. As soon as he realized this, the plains faded away and he was facing an old stone wall.

The wall followed the road, and a bit further down, he saw a gate in it. Curious, he ran to take a look, and the view almost made him lose his breath. He was watching a garden unlike he'd ever seen: the trees, the flowerbeds, little brooks and ponds with wooden bridges over them were _perfect_ , as if they were the archetype of which things on earth were just dim echoes.

He stepped into the garden looking around in wonder. There were birds too, and the air was echoing with melodies he wouldn't have thought a bird could sing **,** and butterflies flew around like delicate flowers that had taken wing. A bit further away, underneath flowering cherry trees, a lonely figure was sitting on the ground, bent down as if examining something closely. There was something familiar in the figure, and Hikaru went a bit closer to get a better view.

"Touya!" he finally exclaimed. "That's Touya."

"Where are you going to?" Nuala asked when he headed toward his friend and rival.

"Figures," he muttered when he saw what Touya was doing, without even hearing Nuala's question. "He really doesn't think of anything but go, day or night."

Touya was so absorbed in the game he was playing that he didn't notice Hikaru arriving. He sat down at the other side of the go board, and took a look at the game. And frowned.

"What's this?"

Touya gave a great start and looked up, finally realizing he'd got company.

"Shindou! What are you doing here?"

"Never mind that," Hikaru replied, still staring at the go board with a deepening frown. "The question is... what are _you_ doing?"

The surprised look on Touya's face turned into a glare. "What does it look like? Replaying a game I played the other day."

"You played that game? It's totally ridiculous!"

"I'd like to see you doing better on this board!"

"I'd do better blind! That doesn't even make any sense!"

Tight-lipped, Touya started to collect the stones away. "Why don't we play a game, then?"

"Sure! Go on and nigiri! If that's the way you're playing, I'll beat you with a nine stone handicap!"

"Hikaru?" Nuala said, watching them curiously with a tilted head. "What's that?"

Hikaru stared at her a moment before he remembered who she was. "Oh... it's a go board. It's... we... oh, bugger." He looked at Touya who was holding a handful of white stones above the board, ready to nigiri. "I'm sorry, I don't have time to play now."

"You don't?" Touya sounded genuinely surprised. "Why did you come here, then?"

Hikaru stood up, shot a hesitant look around. Such a beautiful garden. Maybe Sai would be here, too? He'd certainly like a place like this. "I'm looking for someone..." he said absentmindedly.

"Who?"

"Sai."

"What?" Touya sprung to his feet and the white stones fell from his hand. (When they fell on the ground they turned into cherry petals, though neither of the boys noticed this.) "Sai? So you do know Sai! Is he here?"

"If he were here, I wouldn't have to look for him, right?" Hikaru said, a bit annoyed at himself. He hadn't been meaning to tell Touya, but somehow, thinking about it had made him say it aloud.

"So you do know him. I _knew_ it. Will you finally tell me about it? You did promise you would."

"I said I might tell you. Some day. Might." Hikaru stood up as well. "I don't have time for story-telling now. I need to find him. Oh, and..." He glanced at Nuala, who was still watching the go board as if enchanted. (It _was_ a very beautiful go board, old and decorated.) "And... have you seen any nightmares? We're looking for those, too."

"Nightmares?" Touya stared at him blankly. "You are looking for Sai and nightmares?"

"Well, some little ones that apparently escaped or something. I take it you haven't had any?"

"No..." Touya said slowly, still looking like he was considering if he should call the nice white-coated men to take care of his poor rival. "Though..." he glanced at the go board, "That board's enough to drive anyone nuts, a tiny nightmare in itself."

Hikaru looked down at the board, confused. "What do you mean? It's a perfectly ordinary go board."

"Looks like it, at least. Watch." Touya sat down again and started replaying some old game. For a moment everything went fine, then Hikaru rubbed his eyes.

"Didn't you play a hane there, and not tsuke? And... what happened to the stone in that corner? There _was_ a white stone on the star point, wasn't there?"

"That's what I meant." Touya stared at the board, highly annoyed. "I've been trying to replay this game for hours, but it always turns out totally messed up. It's like the go board ate some of the stones, or just moved them randomly around."

"Hours? Then why do you keep on? There are other go boards, why do you have to play it on this one?"

Touya blinked. "I... don't know. It just didn't cross my mind that... I wouldn't have to."

Nuala bent down across the go board as well. "I just wonder..." she muttered. Then she grasped the board and shook it. "Come now! Let me see what you really are!"

The board shimmered in her hands, trembled, and disappeared. In its stead she was holding to something transparent and slippery. "Aha!" she said triumphantly. "There! The basket!"

Hikaru opened the basket and she quickly showed whatever it was she had in her hands in there.

"What was that?" Touya asked, wide-eyed.

"A nightmare," Nuala said, content. "One of those we were looking for. Not a very scary one, but so much the more annoying. It simply causes things to go wrong."

"A nightmare... would that mean I'm sleeping?" Touya looked still quite confused. "Or... hey, wait, did you say something about Sai a while ago?"

"No."

"Yes, you did!" Touya jumped up again. "If you're looking for Sai, then I want to... I want to..." He glanced around, looking troubled.

"What is it?" Hikaru asked.

"Damn," Touya muttered. "I think... that's my alarm clock. I..." He was beginning to turn transparent. "I think I'm... but Shindou, you..." There was barely anything visible of him anymore, just some dark hair and eyes. "You must..." his voice, barely more than a whisper, faded away as well.

(In his room, Touya bolted up on his futon. "You must tell me everything some day!" he yelled. He sat there, clutching his blanket, breathing hard. A dream? About... Shindou? Who had been acting weird, as usual. And something about Sai. He shook his head and turned off the alarm clock with a great sigh.)

"Apparently it's already morning," Hikaru said to Nuala, worried. "I don't want to wake up yet... though knowing Touya, he probably gets up insanely early. I hope mom will let me sleep in..."

"We have two." Nuala was, almost literally, beaming at her basket and didn't seem to have heard a word he'd said. "Two!"

"So… how many are there, anyway?" Hikaru asked with a small sigh.

"Oh, a few hundred."

"A few…?" Hikaru spluttered, staring at her with wide eyes.

"315, to be exact."

"And we've got two." The statement was rather blank. "Is there any point in looking for them? Are you… are you planning to try to find them all?" Just how long would that take… "Certainly there can't be room for that many in your basket!"

"Well, maybe not for all of them," Nuala said, grasping the basket again and starting to walk out of the garden, "but there's room for many more than you'd think. And, you know… it's not that I really thought I could find _any_ of them, but… it's a matter of principle, you know. I just have to do what I can. You're great, though." She smiled brightly at Hikaru. "You've already helped me to find two of them. I didn't notice this one at all, even though I was watching that board so closely." She fell silent for a moment, then continued a bit hesitantly, "What is that game? Did you call it go?"

"Yeah. It's the best game ever. I'm a professional go player, you know."

"Really?" There was a curious shine in Nuala's eyes. "How's it played?"

And as the walked on, Hikaru started explaining to her the basics of go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know the noppera-bou? A faceless ghost from the Japanese mythology. The most common version of the story goes something like this: A man is traveling alone when he comes to a crying woman. He asks her what's wrong, but when she turns to him, he sees she has no face. He runs away, and comes to the police station (or a bar or whatever) and starts telling his story, and whoever he's telling it to turns to him, asking "Did she look like this?" - and has no face, either.


	3. Some day I'll smile too

They had been walking a long while without finding anything. There had been a some kind of a city, where everything – including the people – were made of glass, and a small forest where different animals grew on trees like fruits, then they had explored the bottom of a sea (how he had been able to breathe there Hikaru didn't know, but he was was just happy it hadn't turned into a nightmare about drowning), and finally, slowly and rather painfully, they had found their way through the thickest fog there could possibly be – some kind of a nightmare, Hikaru was sure of it, as it made cold shivers run down his spine. Now they had found what Nuala declared to be the most pleasant dream ever, and had decided to have a little break.

They were sitting in the shadow of a big tree, watching the sun rays play on the waves of a little lake. A bit further away, a waterfall splashed soothingly into the lake, and far away they could see the tops of snowy mountains.

"This is lovely," Hikaru admitted, lying down on the soft grass. "I could spend a long while here."

"Fiddler's Green is the best place to relax," Nuala agreed. "Always charming, and a real gentleman, too."

"Gentleman?" Hikaru gave her a weird look. First time he'd heard that word used of a place. "Well, anyway. I wish I could show this place to Sai. If I find him, I hope we can come here together..."

"It's a bit weird, how you are looking for him in dreams," Nuala observed. "Is he somewhere far away?"

"Yeah, I guess you could say so..."

"You sound like you really miss him."

"I do." Hikaru moved his head a little, and instead of staring at the leafage turned his face to the strange fairy girl. "And I really wish to speak with him again. Our parting... wasn't a good one. I'd been pretty nasty to him... it's hard enough to think he's gone, but at least I wouldn't want his last memories of me be of some obnoxious brat who just thinks of himself..." He fell silent for a moment, looked again at the blue sky and the green leaves. "I wish I could some day speak of him and smile, without any bitterness..." he said quietly, more to himself than to Nuala. "But." He gave her a smile that, although it wasn't quite bitter, seemed a little forced, "He would love this place. That garden was great, too, but it was a man-made place, whereas here... this is true natural beauty."

Nuala smiled. "Yes. I'm sure Fiddler's Green appreciates your praise."

Hikaru said nothing, as he didn't quite know what to say.

"The only problem with this place," Nuala went on, "is that here we most certainly won't find any of the..." she fell quiet in the middle of the sentence and looked somewhere far away, as if listening. "Oh."

"What is it?" Hikaru sat up and shot a worried look around. After all, they had found a tiny nightmare in that lovely garden, too.

"The Lord is back."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. The whole Dreaming knows when he's here." She stood up. "I guess I'd better be going, then." She sounded uncertain, maybe a little frightened. "Two out of three hundred and fifteen really isn't that much..."

Hikaru got up as well. "Hey, at least you've done your best. What else could anyone ask for?"

She said nothing, just picked up her basket.

"So..." Hikaru shifted from leg to leg. "You're going back? To the castle? May I come with you? I mean... maybe now he'd agree to see me..."

"Maybe." Nuala didn't sound too confident. "One can always cask... now, let's start heading – oh, thank you!"

A path had appeared among the trees of Fiddler's Green. Nuala smiled. "He gave us a shortcut. I did say he's a gentleman, didn't I?"

They followed the path, and when they left the Fiddler's Green behind, Hikaru saw that they had arrived straight to the castle. Now, everything looked much more grim and decayed than on his first visit. The tree growing by the main doors was dead and leafless, and the ground, the castle walls, and the sky itself were all of the same dirty gray.

There was a black-clad figure standing at the gate. He seemed to be talking with the gatekeepers, and for a moment Hikaru thought with a wry smile of how useless that was – but then the doors slid open. The black coated man was about to step in, but then something made him glance behind, and when he saw the two, he stopped. Nuala approached him timidly, but Hikaru froze where he was standing.

Black and white; a coat as black as the dark night, and hair of the same color, against which the impossibly white face shone in stark contrast. And eyes... were nothing more than two black holes.

"Nuala, isn't it?" The man's voice made Hikaru shiver. "You are well? I trust there is nothing wrong."

For some reason, Nuala seemed a little taken aback, as if something had surprised her. "No sir, I mean, yes... that is..."

But Dream was already looking past her, to Hikaru. The boy swallowed, and bowed, deep.

"I'm sorry to bother you, sir, but... um, there's someone I'm looking for and..."

"Shindou Hikaru. You were at my gates earlier this night. You have slept long – isn't it time for you to wake?"

"Not... not yet, lord, please," Hikaru answered hurriedly. "There's something I'd like to ask you."

"Ask, then."

"I'm looking for someone... someone who was in my dream. Fujiwara no Sai. Do you know where I could find him?"

The dark eyes seemed to look straight through the boy. "There's no one by that name in the Dreaming, nor can I remember a dreamer alive at the moment with such name."

"Well, he is dead, to be exact, has been for a thousand years... He was a ghost, first, but then he disappeared, and I couldn't find him anywhere anymore, no matter how hard I searched."

Dream shook his head. "I can't help you with this. If the one you are looking for has passed on, I can't reach him anymore."

"But he was here!" Hikaru exclaimed. "I saw him just a little while ago. He... he gave me..." Hikaru looked at his hands, only now realizing he didn't have the fan anymore. "Damn, he gave me his fan and I've lost it!" He looked up at Dream, begging. "I need to see him again! I need to ask him why he left – I already did, but he didn't answer. And..." he swallowed, "I need to apologize, too."

"If he left, I can tell you why: because his time was up. You can't find him again, not within this lifetime. Wake up boy – you have dreamed too long." Dream turned to enter the castle.

"But..." Hikaru whispered once more. "But I..." He swallowed. Not within this lifetime? Before this night, this dream, he had known that. Sai was in his go, and that was enough – had to be enough, for that was all that was left. He had thought he had come to accept it. But now he had seen Sai again, and that certainty was crumbling away.

It wasn't that he was expecting for Sai to come back. But for a moment he had believed he might have a chance to see him at least one more time... And now he'd have to return without meeting Sai, and everything would be as it had been. Back in reality, what Nuala had called the waking world, he'd play his games and fight Touya and be promoted, but he still wouldn't have been able to talk things through with Sai. Never to talk with him, never to see him, never to get rid of the empty part deep in his heart...

The Dream Lord stopped, looked behind. Something, like stars, glistened in the depth of his eyes. "Stop that line of thought, boy. You're knocking on Despair's gates. You already once escaped her realm, do you want to go back?" And then he was gone.

No, Hikaru thought to himself, he wasn't about to give in to despair once again. And he wasn't about to give up. He looked at Nuala, who shook her head sadly.

"I'm sorry," she said. "But... he is right. If the one you're looking for is dead, you can't find him here."

"He was in my dream," Hikaru said stubbornly. "He was here."

"Are you sure? Maybe it was... just a dream."

"Didn't you say there's no such thing as 'just a dream'?"

"Oh, so you _were_ listening to me! But... I'm sorry, Hikaru, the dead are dead. You can't change that. Sometimes, a few can have the chance of staying here after they die, to become dreams, but your friend is not among them. But..." She glanced at the door that was still left open for her. "I need to run now, I got to tell him what's happened. He's in such an odd mild mood, maybe he won't bite my head off... Thanks for your help!"

She dashed in, and the doors slammed shut behind her.

"I'm not leaving," Hikaru said to the closed doors. "I'm not."

And once again, he sat down to wait. But though last time he had been full of defiance, now his stubborn stance was more an act, something he did just because he said he would, not because he anymore expected anything to come of it. Above, the statues of the gatekeepers stared down at him, and if they possibly felt any sympathy, nothing was visible on their stony faces.

Time passed, what felt like hours, but who knows, maybe it was only a few minutes. Then, suddenly, the griffin spoke.

"You may enter the castle."

"What?" Hikaru gave a start and looked around, thinking that maybe someone else had arrived, but he was still alone. "Me?" He looked up at the statues, not believing his ears.

The dragon nodded. "The doors are open. Welcome."

"Just walk straight forward," the winged horse said. "You will come to the throne room."

"Throne room?" This was beginning to sound quite... official. "Er, thanks..."

"Good luck," the griffin said, as he walked in.

The dimly lit corridor was long and quiet, the only thing he could hear as he walked it down were his muffled footsteps. There were doors at the other end of the corridor, and when he hesitantly stepped in through them he found himself in a great hall – the throne room, apparently, for there was the throne, at the opposite wall.

The throne, in Hikaru's mind, was surprisingly simple, not really much more than a big chair, to which led a couple of stairs. Dream sat upon it, leaning against the chair's arm, watching him expressionlessly.

Hikaru stopped, uncertain, and glanced around in the empty, shadowy hall. "Umm, thanks for agreeing to see me," he said, and bowed. "I'm really..."

"You said you have known a ghost," Dream cut him off, ignoring his thanks. "Tell me more about him."

"About Sai? Well... he was the emperor's go teacher, during the Heian era, and..." Hikaru went on, telling the whole story, from the day he had first met Sai to the dream he had had. When he was done, Dream nodded once.

"You have given me a good story, thank you for that. And I've heard you have been of some help to Nuala... But nothing of this changes the facts: your friend was dead, is dead, and, based on your account, has finally passed on. A ghost I might be able to find, but one that Death has taken forward, no."

"But... what if he hasn't?" Hikaru still attempted to argue, desperately. "I mean, moved on? What if this is about something else? I mean... he _was_ in my dream, just recently. And even if he has... moved on... why couldn't he come back, even for a moment? In a dream? Surely that wouldn't be so horrible, right?"

"You'd ask Death to bring him back for you?"

For a moment Hikaru thought he saw something glistening in Dream's dark eyes, and he swallowed. "...could I?" he asked timidly, uncertain.

Dream sat on his throne unmoving, with an unreadable expression, for a long while. Then, finally, he stood up. "Come."

They left the room and entered another, this one more brightly lit. There were different things on the walls, all framed: a heart, a book with chains around it, some kind of a hook... Dream stopped in front of a cross with a loop on the top, and took it in his hand.

"My sister, I stand in my gallery and hold your sigil. Would you speak with me?"

The face of a young woman appeared almost instantly in the frame. She had the same pale skin and black hair that Dream had.

"Hiya, Dream. I was wondering if you'd call me... How are you?" She sounded genuinely worried.

"I am fine." Dream's voice was quite colorless. "I didn't call you on my own behalf." He looked at Hikaru, and his sister peeked into the room from the picture frame, only now noticing the boy.

"Oh, we've got company!" She jumped in from the frame and gave Hikaru a wide smile. Even though her resemblance to Dream was great, she had a much warmer, friendlier air, and the smile on her face reached her eyes, too. She too was wearing only black, though her style could be described only as gothic. Hikaru noticed that a similar cross as Dream was holding hang on her neck. She followed his gaze and touched it.

"It's an ankh," she answered the unspoken question. "Symbol of eternal life."

"Oh," Hikaru said. "Are you..."

"I'm Death," she said with a small knowing smile. You can't be, Hikaru wanted to tell her, but somehow that smile stopped him.

"You're... not quite what I expected," was all he managed to say.

"I'm not?" She shrugged. "Well, I can do this much for you." The same instant her clothes turned into a black funeral kimono and her wild hair was neatly tied. There was a bright red manjushage flower in her hair. "But don't even a mention a scythe, or I will have to hit you."

"This boy," Dream said, "is looking for someone who has spent the last thousand years as a ghost, and has just recently disappeared from the waking world. His name was Fujiwara no Sai."

"Ah... the go player," Death said quietly.

"You know him?" Hikaru exclaimed. "Where is he? I need to meet him!"

"I know everyone. But he... he has used up all the time he had. He can't come back anymore. I'm sorry," she went on even more softly, seeing Hikaru's broken expression, "but I can't start bringing the dead back. If I did it for one, I would have to do it for everybody."

"Yes, but... but..." Suddenly he felt like choking, and it took all his willpower to push tears away. "I know," he finally sighed.

Death shook her head. "For what it's worth, I _am_ sorry. It is alright to cry now, to mourn him and curse me – but life goes on, and with time, the pain will ease."

Hikaru shook his head. "I could never curse you, lady. Never," he said earnestly, despite the tears that were again burning within his eyes, and Death gave him a long look. Then she shot a glance at her brother, half annoyed, half amused.

"You just had to call me, didn't you? Exactly what did you expect me to do?"

Dream was silent. "We should... talk," he said then.

"Yes," Death said strongly. "We should. _Are_ you truly alright? This is weird behavior from you. But what of the boy?"

Dream opened a door. "Would you wait outside a moment," he said to Hikaru.

The boy nodded and walked to the door. In the doorway he stopped, surprised. "This is..."

"Fiddler's Green," Dream confirmed. "I heard you like this place. And... this place likes you, too."

"That's... nice. I don't think I've ever been liked by a place before..." Hikaru stepped outside, and the door closed behind his back.

Fiddler's Green was even more beautiful than he had remembered. Like a dream, it had already begun to fade away... Hikaru sat down underneath a tree, possibly the same under which he and Nuala had been sitting earlier. There was a soft wind, now, that gently, like a caress, blew his bangs from his eyes, and he leaned against the tree trunk, trying to relax.

"Yeah... you are a great place," he whispered into the wind. He closed his eyes and decided that maybe, maybe, it was time to let go. This dream was beginning to get a little too weird. Right now, he couldn't anymore say if he was dreaming or not – or possibly seeing a dream in which he thought he was seeing a dream. Though he couldn't quite believe he would have been able to dream up something like Death's eyes.

Was she really 'death'? And her brother, 'dream'... exactly what were they? He had a feeling he was knocking at the door of some great mystery, which he'd be better off without knowing. Maybe it was best to give up. They wouldn't bring Sai back, he was sure of that...

Except...

He opened his eyes. Looked behind. And there, underneath the big trees, in the dancing light and shadows that the soft sunlight created as it poured through the thick leafage, stood a familiar white-clothed figure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A couple of things:
> 
> 1) Fiddler's Green
> 
> In _The Sandman_ , Fiddler's Green is one of the major arcana... (and in _The Doll's House_ , he also walks around as a man, calling himself Gilbert). I thought this would be a great place for meeting Sai, as (originally) Fiddler's Green is mythical, paradise-like place... from wikipedia: "a legendary imagined afterlife, where there is perpetual mirth, a fiddle that never stops playing, and dancers who never tire. Its origins are obscure, although some point to the Greek myth of the "Elysian Fields" as a potential inspiration."
> 
> 2) Manjushage
> 
> Lycoris radiata, red spider lily, is a flower that usually blooms near cemeteries around the autumnal equinox, and they are said to guide the dead into the next reincarnation.
> 
> Check the legend on the wiki: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lycoris_radiata#Legends
> 
> 3) I've been meaning to say... I know the gatekeepers are in fact a griffin, a wyvern, and a hippogryph... but the hippogryph is always drawn as a pegasus, which I find a bit confusing. So I just refer to it as a "some kind of a winged horse" here.


	4. Soft sunlight, premonition of a departure

"Sai?" Hikaru stood up, slowly, unbelieving. "How..."

"Hikaru." Yes, it was Sai's voice (a real voice, and not just something he heard in the back of his mind), and after a moment of hesitation, Hikaru plunged forward and threw his arms around his friend and tutor.

"Sai! You did come!" He sounded quite muffled, as his face was pressed tightly against Sai's shoulder. "I didn't believe..."

Sai put his arms around him as well, and a long while they just stood there, hugging each other in silence. Then Hikaru finally pulled away, looking up at Sai, something wet glistening in his eyes.

"You came." His voice almost broke, and he cleared his throat self-consciously. "I..." he started to say, but fell silent. There were so many things he had been going to say, but now that he had the chance the words suddenly left him.

"Yes?" Sai looked at him with a small smile. "I'm told you have been very eager to see me."

"Of course! I've missed you so much and there are so many things that I should tell you, and... and I just wanted to ask... and I think I should say... but, but..."

Sai shook his head, amused. "Calm down, Hikaru. Come, let's sit down." He walked to the lake's edge and sat down by it, watching its calm surface. Hikaru sat down next to him, suddenly nervous.

"Why did you leave?" he asked in a small voice. "Was it... because of me?"

"Because of you?" Sai gave him a surprised look. "Why would you think it was because of you?"

"You wanted to play," Hikaru muttered, "and I didn't let you. If things were to be like that...why would you stay..."

Sai was shaking his head. "It was hardly my will, to go. I would have wanted still another millennium... or two. I tried to warn you – I did say I might not have much left, didn't I?"

"Yeah..." Hikaru stared gloomily at the water. "And I didn't listen to you."

"Indeed! You should pay more attention to what people are trying to tell you, and not just ignore them like that. You..." Seeing Hikaru's expression darken even more, Sai fell silent and went then on more gently, "I didn't want to go. I wouldn't have wanted to leave you, no matter what the things were like."

"Really?" Hikaru looked up at him, and he nodded with a smile.

"Really."

A relieved sigh escaped the boy. "That's... good to know. I thought it might have been because of me. The games you played were so brilliant... surely it would have been better to let you play all the games, like Torajiro had done, but I just had to be such a brat and so selfish and... and... I'm sorry." He hung his head again.

"That's nonsense, Hikaru, and you know it." Sai's voice stern, as on those times he'd pointed out some stupid moves he had made during their games. "Maybe you were selfish, but so was I. In the end, this is _your_ life. I had mine – and I threw it away. Talk about selfishness... that after a deed like that I would still hang around, demand to get to play more..."

"But..." Hikaru looked at him, surprised. "It's not your fault things went like that... if that cheater hadn't..."

"Nobody pushed me into that river," Sai said quietly. "I could have lived on, played my games when I was alive, but I couldn't see past the current situation... the court had been my whole world, and having been cast out, I imagined it was the end of everything, couldn't see the rest of the world that was still open to me. I was such an idiot..."

Hikaru stared at him, surprised at the bitterness he heard in those words. But then Sai smiled, that same old smile he remembered so well, and the moment was gone. "But it was so much fun, to be with you, Hikaru. I can't ever thank you enough, for that new life I got that I didn't quite deserve."

Hikaru felt heat spread over his cheeks. "Nah, it's nothing, I had fun too... So you're not mad at me? You'll forgive me?"

Sai smiled. "If you forgive me."

Hikaru grinned, Sai's smile widened, and they chatted on in the ever-pleasant Fiddler's Green, of Isumi's trip to China and of Mitani going to a tournament, and of the games Hikaru and Touya played, and as they talked, the sun on the sky smiled down upon them, softly caressing them with its gentle rays.

When finally everything had been said, they sat together, quietly, until Sai reached into his sleeve and pulled out his fan. "Try to take better care of it," he said to Hikaru, who took it, nodded, and woke up.

("About time!" his mother was saying. "I've called for you at least three times! You're going to be late from school at this rate! ...Hikaru? Are you crying? Did you have a nightmare? Hikaru...?")

From a window of the castle, Dream and Death had been watching the meeting. When both the boy and the ghost were gone, Death gave her brother a small smile. The kimono was gone, and she was again dressed in her usual black top and pants.

"That was kind of you," she said, and Dream gave her a blank look.

"If you say so, my sister." He walked away from the window. "Lucien," he said, and the librarian stood beside him.

"Sire?"

"For the rest of today, I will be retiring to my quarters. I do not wish to be disturbed. There are many things that require my attention... but they can wait. Tomorrow... I shall work. But not today..."

"Yes, my lord."

"See ya, Dream," Death said as he left the room. "Take care." She moved, too, to return to her own realm, but a quiet "umm" stopped her.

She turned to look and saw Nuala peeking from the doorway. "Yes?"

"I was just wondering, my lady..." Nuala said, hesitantly, "but... was that really Sai? Did you bring him here? Or was it... a dream?"

Death smiled. "Perhaps... perhaps not... does it really matter?" she said. "The boy heard what he needed to hear." And she was gone.

Nuala sighed, still wondering. Then she ran after the librarian.

"Say, Lucien...do we have any books on a game called go? Anything _real_ , I mean, not some weird things people have dreamed up... It sounds like a fun game, I wonder if I could learn it..." And she followed him into the library, babbling on about white stones that are like stars in the universe, and of something called the hand of god.

**THE END**


End file.
